I will be disliked...

Generally, we all have a good feeling about ourselves. Each of us to a greater degree know about ourselves as a person and we presumably believe that we are 'good'. It is essential to have this kind of perception for us to function normally as an individual. However, we may fall into the trap of belief system that we are generally likable by all and hence our communication, behaviors, actions, choices and decision-making can be driven by this presumption.

If you are a person who carry this kind of belief system that 'I am generally likable' it may be difficult for you to handle instances of rejection or non-acceptance. I personally was plagued with this kind of belief system for many years and when faced with instances of non-acceptance or rejection felt miserable. One fine day an article I read helped me to realize no matter how good I am or would have been good to people, how much ever loving... not all will get to like me. The article struck me like an lightning and I felt delivered to know the truth that "I will be disliked" no matter how hard I try to invest in people and relationships.

To know that 'I will be disliked' brought in deliverance to my inner struggle. I felt free, calm and at ease to be myself. If you are a people-person know that you will be liked as well as disliked, loved as well as unloved, accepted as well as rejected. Since each individual's perception and attitude is different not everyone will see things from our eyes. First, we need to get out of this belief system so that we can function normally as a person and not be weighed down by others reactions towards us...

Whom are You Feeding? Ego?

Sometimes we would have come across people whom we refer as egoistic generally because they do not easily apologize when they do wrong to others. Have you ever wondered why is it so hard for people to say "Sorry" genuinely? Fake sorry or simply saying sorry without really meaning it ...is a mere lip service and is done to escape the situation or manipulate with people. However, genuine sorry can be told only by those who have humility in their innate nature. People who do not want to sincerely and genuinely apologize are 'perfectionists'. In their perception their are always right while others are wrong. They are the ones who easily blame others, situations or events if something is not working in their lives according to their expectations.

We cannot make people to apologize. Perfectionists are hard to break from their personalities. People who find fault with others except themselves are perfectionists. People who want their way in everything are perfectionists. According to Julie "perfectionism is the result of a false sense of pride" and that it is an egoistic condition which perfectionists need to break free from (2013). Julie affirms that unless a perfectionist changes his/her attitude of serving the 'self' at all times and move to serving others, he/she will continue to be dissatisfied in life (2013).

Whether we want to serve our self-centered ego or break free from the false pride is something that we need to decide on...solely!

Reference
Julie. (2013). Perfectionism Is All About Ego-Drop the Facade. Sober Julie.com.

Self-Fulling Prophecy- 2

According to Robert Merton self-fulfilling prophecy refers to "a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true" (as cited in Bearman and Hedstrom, 2009). Our mind is a powerful part of our being and is capable to handling complex thoughts processes and thinking patterns. Generally, we function in an automatic response mode and predominantly the automatic response to a negative situation or event is negative. Since we subconsciously function in an auto response mode, we draw negative or false definitions from a negative situation. People who have the tendency to get easily worked up in a negative situation engage in monologue repeatedly with respect to their false definitions. As per the self-fulfilling prophecy negative thought patterns and feelings evoke strong negative behaviors, expressions and responses which in turn cause negative vibes in themselves and their life thus making their false conception become true.

We may have fears or anxieties or negative thoughts about ourselves/others which may not be true, yet we may assume it to be true and respond accordingly. This affects our behaviors, expressions and in turn outcomes making our belief come true. For instance, if I fear that my worst kind of migraine may end up into aneurysm or cause me to collapse, it affects the way I respond to my condition making it further worse. However, I can choose how I react to my condition or situation and it takes mental energy to respond positively to a negative situation or condition.

Most of us have an innate desire or need to know things that are about to happen in advance. However, if we are not cautious we may be engaging in self-fulfilling prophecy needlessly...

Reference
Bearman, P. and Hedström, P. (2009). Self-Fulfilling Prophecies. The Oxford Handbook of Analytical Sociology. Oxford: Oxford University Press.